This is meant to be a journal of my thoughts, my feelings, my fears and ambitions.  It's to be written to on a regular basis by myself about the happenings around that day or time period.  Here and there I might back track and add an entry from past times.  Let me know what you think.

 

Monday - November 17, 2003

Just a few things I found amusing but true:

As I've Matured... 

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in... 

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just
jackasses.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes   suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. 

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. 

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. 

 I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off. 

 I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.  

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 

 I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it. 

 I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are
celebrities. 

  I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity. 

  I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your
house, one of your kids did it 

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. 

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent. 

Monday, May 27, 2003

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. I know I did.  Met a lot of great people too!!  I haven't written here in a while because I know certain psychotic people are checking my web all the time to see what's going on in my life.  Why can't people just move on?  I am happy with my life and looking for that life partner.  I know he is out there and some day I will find him.  Until then I am enjoying all my wonderful friends. 

So what has TJ been up too lately.  Well mostly work.  But loving going out and dancing.  Also I have been dating here and there and met a couple great guys that I will be seeing more of.  Who knows what is in the future right now.  I am in no hurry as my trust with anyone has been totally screwed up.  When the right one comes along things will happen on their own.  I do know what I DON'T WANT and will stick to that.  So in the mean time feel free to say hi or drop me an email. One can never have too many friends.

Ta Ta For Now

Monday - March 24, 2003

Well I decided I don't want to answer the questions being asked.  They should know the answer and if they don't then there is a bigger problem. Ok, confusing I know...

So what's new and exciting with Tim? Well I have met some new friends including one that I feel very close to. Where's it going?  That I don't know yet.  I find it so hard to trust right now and feel that anyone I get involved with is just going to hurt me.  I guess it will take time to get over that. I think it makes it worse when I really don't know where their head is at or what they are really looking for.  My problem is I tend to show my feelings too much. Or maybe I really don't and just think I am.  So am I the one that comes off as unreachable or disinterested?  Maybe I do. I have been hurt pretty bad and it's going to take some time to heal. I must say I had an enjoyable weekend and spent time with someone special.  I don't know that the feelings are mutual, time will tell I guess. I am hesitant to ask right now because I don't want to rush things nor do I want to hear a negative answer.

Friday - March 21, 2003

Now what?

Maybe tomorrow there will be an answer here to a question......

Thursday - March 06, 2003

How can someone live their life in a total lie?  I'm not talking about the little white lies which we tell to protect ourselves or others.  I am talking about people whose whole life is a lie.  Worse yet, I think they try to convince themselves that the lies are the truth.  I think someone that lives that way needs to face up to reality and get some serious counseling. You can never have a real relationship or a fulfilling life until you face reality. This is why I can't stand liars. All I know is I don't want that in my life.

While on the subject of relationship qualities there's another thing that I really hate in the gay society -- CHEATING! not that it doesn't happen in the straight world as well but i don't think it's even close to the same extent.  Most people really mean that they are going to be monogamous when they commit to a relationship.  But there are so many that it really means absolutely nothing to.  I guess they figure they are not cheating if they don't get caught. I could never live with myself that way.

So I guess when it comes down to it those are two things I will not tolerate in a relationship  -- LYING and CHEATING!! I've had it done to me too many times and I will never tolerate or forgive that from anyone again. It's not acceptable behavior in my book.  Life is just too short!

Wednesday - March 05, 2003

To wear your heart on your sleve isn't a very good plan. You should wear it on the inside, where it functions best.

                                                                - Margaret Thatcher      

Does that mean it doesn't get hurt?

                                                          - ME  

Monday - March 03, 2003

Sometimes you wonder what it is that you hold in your hands. Is it the butterfly that you are slowly crushing. Or is it the caterpillar that is waiting to become the butterfly. Why does he bite and struggle so much when he knows he can be the butterfly? Is he happier being the ugly thing that no one wants? Is it really an easier life for him? I guess only the caterpillar knows the answer to that. 

I myself like to be the butterfly. It takes more work and determination but pays off in the end. Most my friends aspire to be the butterfly too. But there are always a few that make do being a common roadside moth. Only to get lost in the lights at night and finally becoming nothing on the headlight of a car or they look for the easy way and fly into a burning campfire. I guess i will keep on working to be a beautiful butterfly. Life is worth it.

Last Updated Sunday, September 21, 2008 10:00 AM
© Copyright 1995-2004 - Timothy J Farmer