Tim's Biography

Born in Fredericksburg, Virginia on October 20, 1961, I'm a southern boy at heart. Having moved to Illinois at seven years old after my parent's divorced, I have been here since. At the young age of forty two I have learned and lived a lot. But I'm not even close to giving in to my age. Everyone who meets me is very surprised by my age. The typical guess is that I'm in my late twenties. I've even had to show a few people my ID to prove it. I guess part of it is my looks, but I think the bigger part is my zest for life and fun.

I am a descendant of the 12th President of the United States, Zachary Taylor (a great great great great great grandfather), who was second cousin to James Madison, the 4th President of the United States; and the 5th President James Monroe. Also related to the Confederate President Jefferson Davis by marriage. I am currently working on researching and documenting my genealogy. I have some links that date back to 229 AD and eventually want to post a family tree on my web site.

My teen years were tough ones. I was a loner for the most part and always felt that I didn't belong. I had no true friends but instead hung around with my brothers' friends. My parents were divorced when I was seven and my mother remarried three years later. My step-father was abusive (verbally mostly) and made me feel like I could do nothing right. Finally, I ended up dropping out of high school in sophomore year and going to work, once again isolating myself from contact with people on any kind of personal level.

Sometime in my teens I came to the realization that I was more interested in the boys than the girls. However, being "The Best Little Boy in the World", I got married at age 20 anyway. I did all the things a married couple would do. My son Scott was born on my 23rd birthday (which is also the birthday of my two brothers and my sister too). He was, is and will always be, the most important thing in my life.

After he was born I knew I had to do more to provide the best for him, so I started College. At first I attended a junior college because I couldn't afford anything else. Finally, after graduating with high honors from the junior college I started at a four year college. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Rockford College with a Bachelor of Science degree with an emphasis on Accounting, Economics and Business Administration. Six months later I sat for and passed the two and a half day Certified Public Accountant exam.

Self denial of my homosexuality was not easy though. I was always dreaming of the young men I would see everywhere, especially while attending school. Finally, all this took it's toll on me. At thirty-three after three years of counseling, hospitalization and close scrapes with death by my own hand, I finally accepted the truth. I was gay and would not be happy any other way!

Coming out to my family was easier than I could have expected. It helped a lot that both my brothers are gay and were already out to my family. Coming out to my wife was a different story. It was hard to do but had to be done. We talked a lot about it and finally decided that we had to get a divorce. At the same time I told my son (nine at the time) of our divorce I also came out to him. His acceptance was a very important part of my coming to accept myself. My son is extremely understanding of who I am and seems to know more than most adults at age thirteen.

Ending a marriage of thirteen years and losing so many things I had worked for was difficult to say the least. I was lucky in that I gained custody of my only son Scott. That itself was been an ongoing battle, but I finally succeeded in ending that fight. My ex wife filed after the divorce for custody because of the gay issue and after a nine month battle in the courts the case was eventually dropped. I also filed for child support from her which I eventually was awarded one and a half years later. Who knew that a gay man could have custody and child support.

After my divorce I started dating other guys until finally David came along. At the time I met him he was in a three year relationship and I had no plans to get into any relationship. But fate kind of had it's own ideas and we started seeing each other more and more. In November of 1995 David moved in with Scott and I. Talk about things that would change my life once again. However things with David had not been easy. We had plenty of our own issues to deal with but a lot of them were his own personal growth issues. After four years together David and I broke up. We are friends now.

After David I met Scott. Scott opened my eyes to what I really want from a relationship and what I seek in a partner. I guess in some ways he made it easy for me to stay single for the last two years. When you know what the feeling is you are willing to wait for it to come along and accept nothing less. Our relationship didn't last long because he wasn't ready for something that real, the commitment to another person scared him. I only hope the best for him and I am still friends with him.

I started dating again in the summer of 2000 and have been lucky to spend time with some really great people. I also found it very hard to trust guys after being misled and lied to several times only to end up very hurt. I have also dealt with physical abuse in a relationship.

I switched careers to computer consulting in 1996 because it was more profitable and enjoyable. I have found a career that respects my knowledge and abilities, and it's a great feeling. I working for Allstate Insurance in 1996 as a contactor and then was hired as an employee for the position of Network Professional/Project Manager. I have since been given the responsibility for delivering software updates to all of Allstate's Claims computers nationwide as well as desktop image maintenance and software packaging. It's a hell of a lot of responsibility but it keeps things interesting. Now if only I got paid what I was worth...

My son keeps me busy but he is a great kid so that makes it easier for me. He's graduated from high school and took his first semester at University of Illinois Chicago. He moved out with his girlfriend but is now back living with me. He's going to be taking classes at Illinois Institute of Art for a degree in Video Game Graphics Programming & Design. I am sure before long he will be ready to be on his own again. I'm going to be lost without him here.

So what do I like to do? Well my friends are very important to me. Of course so is my significant other when I have one. I love sitting at home with a special someone and watching movies and cuddling. I have a small flower garden and also paint and do stained glass. Pretty much I like to just about anything.

I also love to go clubbing and dancing. In fact I worked at G.L.E.E. Club (Crobar Sundays) just for the fun of it as a host (TJ Tim). They are currently closed for remodeling but will be reopening soon. You will see me passing out flyers on other nights, up on the middle box at Midnight with Box Boy handing out toys, glow necklaces, or CD's; or on the front box dancing all night. I am also doing promotions with other clubs so you can always find me around.

I don't know what my future will hold but I am always looking for new friends to come into my life. Totally bored now I'm sure, but you came here to learn more about me....